Too Close for Comfort

I had an appointment today at Balboa Hospital for my rashes that have been plagueing me for months now. The good news? My rash is not a fungus. The bad news is...I feel so violated....

So here's the story; I was in the doctor's office, where he was going over the examination process. He was going to examine my entire body with lights on first, and then he was going to turn the lights off and examine my body with a specialized light and look for any fluorescence. Then he says, "...and your gonna have to take off all your clothes." So I'm like, okay, wutevs, just part of the examination process I guess...

So I undress, and I sit on the bed donning a "fabulous" gown (oh-la-la) and the doc begins the examination. He tells me to lie down on my back first, then after that he tells me to lie on my stomache. The doc tries to make small talk, and says some tacky jokes while he's poking around, causing me to respond in fake laughs and a rolling of eyes. THEN, all of a sudden he says, "My, you have nice legs." Now at first of course I'm like, "Something's not right here..." but then I try to give the doctor the benefit of the doubt. He's a health professional, "nice legs" must mean "you have nice healthy legs" right?

So the examination continues with him telling me to get up, then first face him with my arms up, then turn around so he can examine my back. Everything is going normal (as normal as it can be with me standing there in the buff) when the doc says, "Wow, so did you use to run?" I respond with a questionable yes. "Yeah, because you have very strong legs." At this point, I try to maintain my composure as best as I can, and continue to firmly believe that this examination is still strictly professional. Then the doctor tells me he's going to now turn off the lights and examine me with the special light. He turn's off the lights, so then the only illumination is coming from the flashlight in the doc's hand. All of a sudden the the flashlight goes out, and everything becomes dark...

"Ah shoot the light went out, where's that plug?" says the doctor. By now, my confidence in the professionalism of this doctor visit was gone, and I'm yelling in my head "Yeah you better find the effing plug you creeper." The flashlight comes on again, and the doctor continues to look over my body. I'm pretty sure it only lasted a few seconds, but those were the slowest, and most awkward seconds of my life. The doctor turns on all the lights and tells me to get dressed. Ah yes, sigh of relief, its over. I put all my clothes back on, and the feeling of vulneribility is gone. I walk into the hallway, and enter the doctor's office. He greets me with, "You have a very athletic body" and chuckles to himself. "Uh yeah, thanks a lot sir," I say. Effing creeper status.

P.S- I think I should say that this experience wasn't as bad as it sounds, it was more of a hilarious, "wtf?" moments. The doctor I believe meant well, and was just incredibly oblivious of the timing, situation, and hidden possible context of his jokes. So if you think I need some sympathy, don't worry about it, really.